My engagement ring was sitting on the shelf in the hall on top of an envelope. A note of explanation and goodbye followed. He must have felt some guilt and gave my ring back to me. I had given it back to him for money in order for him to go back to school. I had gone to work that day with a gnawing feeling of dread. I had no idea why. So I decided to call my husband of about 7 months at work. He worked at Salon. I called and asked for my husband. His boss got on the phone and his words to me were: “You don't know? Oh David, David, David. Donna, you don’t know?” His boss told me that he had gone back to San Francisco.
I hung up at my job and told my boss I had to leave the Salon where I worked. I only remember almost running to our apartment about 4 miles away. He and I had such big dreams to be stars when we went to San Francisco. He said he wanted a job to support me in a better fashion than being a hairdresser. This was a lie. There had been many lies, beginning with perhaps if we got our marriage annulled he would feel freer to make love to me. This was the age of free love. I bought this along with the shame I only understand now locking itself inside me. There were so many manipulations to prove I was a virgin. For the first time I felt the cold metal of a speculum inside! As soon as I left the Gynecologist office, I sat and cried. David was going to be free, I was left with a legacy. I fell into my stupidity in the name of love. Blinded and naive, I was so much in love with him.
David had swept me off my feet with an impeccable posture walking into the bar where we all danced. He wouldn’t let anyone else hold me or dance with me. We would go to my place after and David held me through the night. Exhausted from our dancing had been enough. How is it only a few kisses and we went to sleep. I didn’t care, I felt secure and loved. I was becoming his star and him mine, being swept off my feet.
There have been many kinds of sofas and men in my life. The most delightful thing was sitting with my friends in High School watching the Beatles on TV. I had gone to England for too short a time and came home wishing for fame. I shared these thoughts with everyone. Then there was my dream man who captured me. We were going to have a spectacular Wedding and then go to California to be famous. Little did I know you don’t go to San Francisco for fame. The wedding was amazing in its splendor and show. There was almost a full page about the wedding and the dress I designed.
We lived in San Francisco barely a year with his friend.
