Ah, here I am working at managing my life with the richness of learning what the world has offered during, the Pandemic... I am in the action mode, carving my way. This is a place I am all too familiar with, the constrictive voice of can't. How it hangs over me. For almost a year we have been shrouded with voices of tightening rules of Covid19. It seems I used to live in the world of can’t when young, in a whole different way. I wanted to be different as an adult. Not making time for myself above the daily home owning duties and family, seemed paramount. This was constructed from my generation, as we fought to break free of labels, we wanted luster! Struggling with a notion of the thought of can’t kept pushing forward… Words like what will the neighbors think? Words that told little girls to sit down and play with dolls. Can’t, can’t, can’t, I know there are many variations on this theme, however, my spirit continually challenges these thoughts of sitting still, with self judgements.
Ah I was creative as a child and put into the school structure of reading, writing and arithmetic. These were treasured labels at the time, I was not to be creative. So now that I have finished and published my first book I have no idea how or what will happen. Poetry and Art are perhaps looking for a structure in book form; Stories! I now move into creating something new. How creative will these stories be? This is a longing I have wanted for years to be heard and recognized. Looking, Looking back; I know I have felt I had been seen. This was an exciting process, where a new voice began turn all the can't into cans. Still shaking my way in a sphere tightened by realistic goals of turning an aged woman…a very aged woman! Then seeing there is the metaphor of the “being aged is like fine wine”. I do love my red wine. I want to flow in these longings of finally I can be seen and heard!
