The Box
When I was 23 and having an educational experiment, I took an Art Class and somehow I had learned how to construct a paper box, four sides and a top that slid onto the bottom. Quite perfectly I must say. Starting from a simple mat board I cut and taped the structure together and then covered it with a sturdy paper for painting. I drew figures on the sides of some floating morphed construction with a stretched bubble like image; which moved and wrapped the edges into the inside. It formed the center at the point of the inside cover. The inside of the box are still unfinished. As I thought of this image which lies unfinished; it has become symbolic. My unfinished inside and bright colors and shapes outside. This remind me of forms I call myself. I constructed these images of my Art in the 60’s and 70’s; Psychedelic actually.
I only did Acid twice, the first time I had nothing happen till the end of the day, which was when the bulbs on the fixtures exploded. I can remember the bathroom and the burst of light fracturing itself into the room. Then the second time, as if my mind opened to a small dot of drug on a sugar cube, I began dancing. My arms flowing to twice their length, we left the club going to sit in the car. My then boyfriend and I watched the rain on the windshield. The same image I drew on the box flowed down the window as each sliding image formed the Zodiac, with colors arranging themselves, in the same shapes on my box. I described my view to my friend and he said: “ maybe you are trippy enough.” This is how my poetry and writing flowed into my Art. I wonder if I will ever finish the box, especially the inside. The outside is nicked and chipped leaving it’s once perfectly covered box; worn from long travel from home to home. Waiting for me to finish, I would say trippy has taken on a new meaning now. My flow from day to day creates itself and accepts what I can ,while looking for my truth to continue to work on the inside.
The Voice of Can’t
Ah, here I am working at managing my life with the richness of learning what the world has offered during, the Pandemic... I am in the action mode, carving my way. This is a place I am all too familiar with, the constrictive voice of can't. How it hangs over me. For almost a year we have been shrouded with voices of tightening rules of Covid19. It seems I used to live in the world of can’t when young, in a whole different way. I wanted to be different as an adult. Not making time for myself above the daily home owning duties and family, seemed paramount. This was constructed from my generation, as we fought to break free of labels, we wanted luster! Struggling with a notion of the thought of can’t kept pushing forward… Words like what will the neighbors think? Words that told little girls to sit down and play with dolls. Can’t, can’t, can’t, I know there are many variations on this theme, however, my spirit continually challenges these thoughts of sitting still, with self judgements.
Ah I was creative as a child and put into the school structure of reading, writing and arithmetic. These were treasured labels at the time, I was not to be creative. So now that I have finished and published my first book I have no idea how or what will happen. Poetry and Art are perhaps looking for a structure in book form; Stories! I now move into creating something new. How creative will these stories be? This is a longing I have wanted for years to be heard and recognized. Looking, Looking back; I know I have felt I had been seen. This was an exciting process, where a new voice began turn all the can't into cans. Still shaking my way in a sphere tightened by realistic goals of turning an aged woman…a very aged woman! Then seeing there is the metaphor of the “being aged is like fine wine”. I do love my red wine. I want to flow in these longings of finally I can be seen and heard!
Could I create pheromones simply through the written word?
This is a quandary for I continually search for for feelings of positive expression. I long for resolution and I come to my many memories of what have I missed to relate who I am and to others? I want to dance with the depth of my words and memories to bring for happiness.
Fun with Dentistry and opening my mouth for expression!
When writing I have to capture my reader with choices of language where I will have them, wanting to read more. I opt out usually to talk instead. Can’t do this here. Talking allows me to see the person’s response and change my words or stop. This is my expressive drama creating itself in a self centered conversation. These vision I create, continuing as my senses detonate; especially with a captive audiences. This is what I once found at my father’s rifle range as a toddler, I keep recreating it. I now am much more secure entertaining as I go. Chatting and laughing when possible. Today I was at an Oral Surgeon, I got to talk more there than to have work done. This was once again an avenue to exercise my personality. Just as my book has fostered excitement I get to express where I can. A poem is not found.
What fun I had when I though I was nervous about what would happen. This will be a process much like my book of discovery and like my website. So now I am tired and it seems while I have this commitment to writing in my blog, I find it has to be short. My writing for expression is fun even though going to the Dentist isn’t much fun; today it was!
I still have to fine tune why my website does not have the right kind of format to invite readers. Maybe it does and I just don’t know it. I can’t even allow people to comment, this might have to be. Well more discovery ahead and I will see if I can have this happen. Good Day to you all! Whoever you are!
Todays Thank you!
Well I really got to deal with a bit of my aging realities in the most beautiful way. Admitting I am eccentric is easy, what is not easy is that I am old enough to have someone know me for 50 years and met me in the prime of my adventures, my 20s. I got a thank you card for sending my friend a book. It was the most beautiful note. I thought I would like to share it. My friend has known me and I always say he remembers more about me than I remember about myself.
This is his note, written by hand and sent thru the post: “ Your book came…It was a revelation and a connection into emotions, privacy and inner feelings and moods. I liked how it covered the span of time of the 1960’ to the present. You were so generous to give credit to all who contributed to make it a reality. The artwork and photography added another personal aspect…a special gift to a half-century of knowing you.
How special this journey is for me during a time that has a high stress of knowing a world locked into the ever present knowledge of the Pandemic.
I sold a book to a stranger!
My ever present saleslady!
So I was taking my hairdresser my book as a gift. I have such fun going to the hairdresser. One of her clients wanted to see my book. I love to tell people to slide their hand across the cover. The embossment adds a texture to what I want to be a sensual feeling reading the poems and looking at the art. This is because my senses were alive as I created it. Beginning as love poems, evolving into so much more. This gives me such life and warmth. A time of struggle, during Pandemic, the will to be within my theme. The questions of Covid will I get it, will I qualify for the vaccine. So much is out of all our hands. So my hair has a fresh trim and I kept looking at the women holding my book and turning the pages. She was reading it with great intention. I felt it was great! Then in my history of being a salesperson and working in advertising I piped out $20. I just happened to have an extra book. It was not as perfect for the envelope I put the book in and it had pen marks on it. Ah the perfectionist comes forth. I saw the damaged envelope was marked. I told her. This was what I struggled with; Perfectionism has slowed me for years. I read somewhere the only perfect job is a job undone. So I will let go of imperfection and just continue my excitement!
So as I finish today's entry after a wonderful day. On to evening and treasuring my life, having sold a book!
This Website is paid for however unpolished!
As I begin my night in a practice with verve. I have never had a website before, I am exhausted by the day and my ideas. How indeed will they find formulization, and trust this process. How many people actually look for poetry and art together on the web? I do have a twitter account once active. So what will be my expanse? Right now it is simply an exploration in process. I need my website to pop when someone finds it. How will I know what I need? My search continues. A busy day and I at least know I can persevere. I am here, writing!
Ideas into action. Something is missing??
A lesson in quick fixes
Somewhere I managed to lose yesterday's post on Squarespace in the great world of cyberspace. Squarespace does not auto save. I predicted this would be a process in learning here which I love, doing.(sometimes) My writing yesterday's blog is now only partially remembered. I was having a let down facing the packing away of Christmas. I remembered the time when my son was about 2 and half and he looked at the tree at the curb crying: “Tree, tree” Carving moments in time is what I do. Some more than others. Remembering and feeling in my memories of photographic images carved into prose. I could see in the world of COVID 19 I was holding onto as much of Christmas past. I could bring myself forward in wisdom. I let go of some of the usual décor.
As I want to continue to my next adventure in my creativity I will open to what precedes. Perhaps to some I am a storyteller. To others, a dramatic woman, I am just sweet and friendly to others. I could make a list of possibilities. Having been gifted with many adventures. I will continue to look toward my history sharing while creating new. This is my time to use wisely if possible. Consequently I am here recording from yesterday and knowing I want to collect my stories that still have only made it to legal pads, others on thumb drives. We will see what I am afforded from the annals of my time here. My space, my Squarespace.
A New year another start
New Years Eve took me to a day of exhaustion and I canceled our guest and blog writing. One guest and one night. Still I felt guilty. Why? Putting myself first is always hard. I’ve never been much of a New Years Eve person. At least not for a long time! I am craving a party for my book launch; that’s what I want! I am looking to find another wish for the new year;2021. We have a sterling wish ball ornament. We hang the wish ball on the tree every year, putting a paper wishes inside. Last year I wished for my book to be done. It is!
However, it had two wishes. I wished for my body and exercise program to get me stronger. With Covid 19 I didn’t get that wish. Being home, I couldn’t seem to focus on my laptops many classes via Zoom or YouTube. While simplicity is not my strength, I am wanting it. two wishes is too much. Then my laptop crashed and while my book had to find another way to finish, and my exercise crashed as well. So here I am! Wanting to be at the computer to write; it is in conflict with getting my body stronger. Sitting is not my first choice. I can see now why I liked painting so much. Active! Art is active!
I have so many logged in poems and writing to work on. Some on the computer, some not. I still have stories to tell and retell! Even edit! Discovering more about my Website and how to management it? I now say; some people do crossword puzzles, I keep my aging brain alive in the art of computer discovery and continued thoughts of new stories!
Where do I go from here continues?
So I couldn’t get done all that I wanted to do today and it has become increasingly clear I have to log in hours of learning how to market myself or work with someone else. Actually I will have to work with someone else. Who I find in 2021 to be my guide, a continuing mentor of what I have produced already. My process continues, coupled with a path of self growth. A continuance; knowing how to follow into this new worlds shadow of the past 2020.
Let us find the light that will produce a production creating Love!
Love for what we do in it’s many forms!
Where do I go from here?
My son Michael used Squarespace for my webpage. Why I don't have a clue...I just in my excitement wanted my own website. After he created it he admitted he had never made one. He also looked for an avenue to allow me to market; Amazon. They wanted me to have used them for publishing/printing.? I didn’t. At this point he has given it over to me not being my teacher. He often lets me figure out things in some hunt and peck fashion. I am giving my book to people as a small marketing tool. It seems that patience has to be a primary objective.
I did pay for my domain as I said. I have an ISBN# but perhaps got lost in just creating the book. From there as I was trying to understand what you were saying about what to do next, or what I needed. My limited knowledge has come to a stand still in all the Holiday recovery now. Patience is hard fought as well. Ah my creative thinking.
I would be grateful for any help in helping me market my book. I am willing to pay for the service or your help. Now I will throw these thoughts into the universe. I will keep asking!
Leftovers, returns and cleaning life!
As we are soon about to be in 2021, I am working to clean up as I explore how to move forward once again into my creative life. Somehow I will face how to express my world and when I might receive a vaccine. Knowing I can’t really know. Tempering my life as I drag with the duties of being a Domestic Goddess, during the holiday. I still am using old measures to celebrate as much as once used to. This year I retired a line of popcorn garland my son and I made in 1988. Still very much in tact. His patience astounded me for an 8 year old! Now I want to remember to just “try to stay as young as I can for a very long time.” I take my lines where I can. This came from a friend older than I who borrowed it from Jack Dunphy, Truman Capote’s life partner. Ah the wonders of time!
Good night!
Two Days after the Holiday!
This is my beginning. I am of a paper and pen generation of writers and artists, my blog will face the creative magic found in the cyber world. Still I am creating in the Pandemic, with only cursory skills found with limited guidance. Trusting my ability to discover, with the faith, I am here to learn new skills and exercise the discovery of Art.
Onward Again
The Observer - Loving Sideways
Beauty’s extremities call
I will coin you
The Observer
Every definition
Could never be enough
Capturing deeply
Resting in your charge.
Knowing trust
Commanding words
Waking beauty’s force
Feeling life’s love
Healing needs in observation
Sitting at the edge
Waiting for your words
Loving Sideways Book Release!
Loving Sideways is a book of poetry and art by Dona Michelini.
This book has been a tribute to love from its inception and helped me appreciate my talent. Within the Pandemic of 2020, I have found more poetic inspiration. While my memories can be a harsh teacher as well as a beautiful one, I have found growth within my creative discomfort. Loving Sideways has become more than a display of poetics from various directions; it is looking forward to life and love with gratitude.